Oregon Caves, Oregon

If you are an adult over the age of 5 you might want to skip this one. Although the cave is pretty neat the ranger tour guide screamed at us for almost two hours at the top of her lungs. It got so bad I started recording her shrill voice with the video function on the camera. Tour ranger especially enjoyed listing the many cave rules and making sure we adhered to all of them. She checked and double checked our receipts to ensure there were not interlopers on our tour, then gave us the once over and made sure we had all gone peepee before the cave tour began. It went downhill from there, both the tour and the cave. I thought I was in Hades instead of Oregon. I thought it might just be this one lady but as I left her doppleganger was getting warmed up with another unsuspecting crowd.

Imagine 2 hours of this, an exerpt:


tfg said...

Before she was a ranger, she was Sister Mary Elephant on Cheech and Chong albums.

Claude said...

Yeah, I'd be blowing my brains out if that were my guide.

It's possible, though, that Oregon has strict cave protection laws (much like Virginia) and they don't have a lot of choice about how/whether to present these. But still...no. Just, no.

Double Dogged said...

How in the hell did you endure her talking down to everyone? I would have pushed her down the 45 steps then back up again.

puerileuwaite said...

Finally! A Park Ranger with whom yours truly would be willing to "go spelunking". This trip of yours has something for everybody!

Cham said...

tfg: No, most assuredly she was Satan's underling.

Claude: I have been to caves in many states. Just recently I've been to Carlsbad and Craters of the Moon, neither national site insisted on guided tours involving anal retentive rangers. You could just look around on your own.

Doubledog: Actually I was envisioning and imagining various things I could do to her in the cave. I was so lost in my dreams that I bumped my head rather hard on a stalactite.

PW: Go for it, she could put you on a leash and tell you when to breathe.