Arches National Park, Utah

Arches is park with a lot of roads. It attracts an international crowd, many Asians and Germans. There are some hiking trails but it is also ideal for people who have RVs and just like to drive around. In my mind, if you’ve seen one arch you’ve seen em all. But still, since it was there I had to go.

I went up to Delicate Arch last night to catch the sunset and see if a decent picture could be taken with crapass camera. I met a bunch of funny people at the overlook and one of them offered to take my picture, she did a pretty good job. After which I took myself to an actual restaurant for a burger. The waiter had issues and sat down at my table without my permission, I thought this awfully annoying. He probably thought he was being cool and hip. I had no choice but to steal the bandana napkin.

This morning I decided to go see more arches wanted to tool around the Devil’s Garden area. But beforehand I wanted to make myself an egg white omelet. I don’t know what it is about these krauts but they are the rudest travelers on the planet. Usually when they annoy me I am in some third world country and try my best to behave so there isn’t much I can do……but this time they were on my turf. So the annoying krauts decided to serenade me with their generator as I ate my breakfast at the picnic area. The krauts, of course, weren’t leaving their RV so they could sit in air-conditioned splendor. I guess they thought that no one would complain since they were hermetically sealed in their Winnebago, little did they know. We had words, the krauts decided to turn their generator off, Freulein Kraut proceeded to give Cham the evil-eye. I evil-eyed her back and felt empowered. I am making it my personal mission to teach all the krauts proper vacation etiquette, I think I have my work cut out for me in this regard.

And what is it with these Germans and their trekking poles? They take them everywhere, they must use them when they go to the corner store for milk.

I get to Devil’s Garden and proceed with my walk. Naturally I took the longer more difficult way. Upon looking at the map, realized it was going to be 6 miles. I was wearing the wrong shoes and had no water but I decided this would make it more challenging. I got a little parched but was no worse for wear.

My breathable trailrunners were shot and I had to buy a new pair. The new shoes are made for slickrock and should give me more grip, but the fucking things are a rather ugly lavender. If I am ever invited to a bridal shower on a mountain I’m ready. I took a shower at the white trash trailer park, poor minivan had to park next to some sort of demolition derby mobile, I don’t know which one of us were more horrified.

I am headed over to Colorado tonight and then north into Wyoming. It is somewhat hot here and it is time for a climate change to cooler temps.

Slideshow for Arches: